A new beginning
by dimaagkadahi
Summary: The story is about Anjali, and her thoughts following Shyam's eviction from Shantivan. One-shot. Rated T for themes


AN: The series sort of ends for me after Shyam's departure. After that I have mostly headcanon for how the series proceeds. Neither the Sheetal nor the Mrs. India tracks ever happened in my world. So this story is about Anjali, and takes place several months after Shyam is proved to be a SHAM and rechristened as "Kaidi number 420"

(The story is almost all exposition and has no ArShi whatsoever. You have been warned :))

—–

Anjali grinned as she ended her call – the final piece was now in place. The present she and Nani had planned for Akash and Payal's first anniversary would be perfect for the soft-spoken, shy couple who had never had a proper honeymoon. Bali in Delhi had been cute, but now they deserved an actual romantic getaway to Bali and she was determined to let them have it.

The past year had been eventful at Shantivan, ending with both her brothers living in marital bliss. Her smile faded as she thought about her own failed marriage - her blind trust, her unwavering love, her deep devotion, her unwarranted gratitude… his tricks, his ulterior motives, his lies, his duplicity, his unforgivable crime… _her little princess_ … the little heart that would never beat, the little fingers she would never touch, the cries she would never hear..

Anjali raised her hands to cover her ears but it did nothing to stop the cacophony of voices in her head. Five months after she had erased him from her life, she was still hurting. She had spent many sleepless nights wondering how she was to blame – should she have seen this coming, in his frequent absences or his overwhelming display of love? Should she have known that a relationship with a husband that seemed pretty much perfect could only end in heartbreak, especially after she had witnessed the sudden collapse of her parents' marriage?

Her fingertips traced her reflection in the mirror, her face that everyone says is so like her mother's. Her mother's daughter.. was it appropriate then that they should meet the same fate? Unconditional love met only with crushing betrayal, leading to a sudden end… an end that took away the gut wrenching pain….

She knew. She had read that fear in her Chotte's, her whole family's eyes when she finally accepted the truth of Shyam-ji's treachery; they were afraid she would hurt herself like her mother had. She would be fooling herself if she insisted that the thought had never crossed her mind, but she had found strength in the love she had for her family, her God, her never-to-be-born daughter. She had experienced the devastation that followed the loss of a loved one and she could never put her family through that again, least of all her beloved brother. She had felt sheltered by the love and support her Chotte offered, especially in the days following Shyam-ji's departure. She had stubbornly burned his presence and his memories from her life, choosing to destroy him instead of destroying herself.

She stared at her unadorned forehead and bare neck. The embellishments that she had always thought were a part of her identity were missing, but she was still here. Faith had forever been the cornerstone of her life, be it her immovable faith in the almighty, her misplaced faith in her husband or her proven faith in her brother's love.

It was time now to have faith in herself.

Anjali straightened and wiped off her tears. She looked.. really looked at herself. She wasn't Anjali Mallik or Anjali Raizada or Anjali Jha. She wasn't her mother's daughter, her brother's sister or her husband's wife. She was just Anjali and she was strong enough to withstand loss, betrayal and heartbreak. She was the one who had provided support to her teenage brother following the death of their parents, the one who had held her family together when Nani and Chotte argued, the one who had digested society's nasty comments about her personal matters before, during and after her marriage. The one who still had the courage to believe in love in spite of her experiences in life.

"Just Anjali", she thought, revelling in the thrum of her pulse, the beat of her heart, the regular intake of her breath.

She WAS.

And that was enough.


End file.
